Hi everyone! Welcome to the fourteen40 blog! My name is Melissa and the fourteen40 project is my newest 'baby' and I'm excited to share it with anyone that is interested (or willing to spend time reading this).
So, let's start at the beginning: What is the fourteen40 project? Well, it's an initiative that has been bouncing around in my brain for several years, which I'm finally putting into action. I'll be 40 in a few months, and that's partially why the timing is right to do this now. In addition, if not now, when? I'll just keep putting it off, and then it'll never happen. So, I'm going to stop "getting ready to get ready" and just jump in feet first. Here we go... the fourteen40 project is a movement to empower (and continually empower) busy people (Isn't that all of us?!), but especially women, to take time each day to focus on themselves and refilling their proverbial cup.
As a wife and mother that works outside of the home I find that I am putting others' needs in front of my own, on pretty much a daily basis. Here's a little peek into what my typical day looks like:
- Wake up at some ridiculous hour (usually between 3:40-4:15am)
- Go to the gym or for a run
- Home to help get the kids to school and get ready for work
- Out the door to one or more of my 4 jobs (yes, 4, I know, I know)
- Pick up kids from school
- Shuttle kids all over town to various sports games and practices
- Rush home to hopefully throw something together for dinner
- Help kids with homework and get them ready for bed
- Finish up whatever remaining work I have for the day (usually that is not actually "finish" but "get as much done as I can before I pass out")
- Drag myself to bed and do it again the next day
If you are a working adult or parent, you may relate to this schedule. It's nuts. It's like a hamster wheel or groundhog day. Don't get me wrong, I love my work and my jobs, I love my family and spending time with them, but there's hardly any time in there for ME. Yes, I do have gym time or running time, but that time is typically not "quiet" or "still" to really focus on my soulful wellbeing (sometimes it can be, but it's not typically). Over the years, I've had way too many conversations that all have the same storyline. The days are too busy, too full with distractions and meeting other people's needs, too much work, too much, too much, too much. I even did a quick poll on my social media and about 2/3 of the combined responses show the same thing. (And, the people that said they did spend time on themselves at least 5 days a week, most of them noted that their gym time was the only self-care time they had, like me.)
So that's where this project comes in. We have fourteen hundred and forty minutes each day. Yet we find it challenging to find even a few of those 1,440 to spend doing something that is a soul-nurturing activity. What is a soul-nurturing activity? What that means to me is typically something that is still and quiet, like meditation or reading a book, going to the beach, spending time in quiet prayer. But it also can be something that is creative, that I am doing for me and me alone. I was recently listening to a podcast with Brene Brown and she said something to the effect of "ignored or untapped creative energy is not benign." Say what? Repeat that, Brene. Yep, ignored creativity is not benign. That hit home for me. She elaborated that she means that when we don't spend time on ourselves, on our own creative or soul-filling projects, however big or small they may be, that the built up and unused energy begins to metastasize to other parts of our lives and bring us down. We don't enjoy activities or people that perhaps we normally do...because we are so caught up in being "busy" or we are too distracted by our never-ending responsibilities that we find it impossible to be present. I've spoken to so many friends that say they feel that they've lost themselves. They don't know really who they are - unless they are someone's wife/mother/partner/colleague - they don't know THEMSELVES. This is heartbreaking to me!
So, my goal with the fourteen40 project is to begin a self-love and self-giving movement. Love yourself enough to give yourself time. Time to do nothing! Time to do something creative! Time to sit and read a book in silence without worrying about the next email or text that will come in. Time to sit and meditate with your thoughts or pray or just be still and feel what it's like to be YOU. Not someone's mom (or dad). Not someone's wife (or husband). Not someone's employee or maybe someone's boss. Just be you.
You may need to start small. I know I need to. My days are packed! (I'm working on that...) I may only be able to find 10-15 minutes each day; but you know what, that's better than 0 minutes (and that's what I make time for right now). As the seasons of your life change, you may be able to find more time, or you may see less time. The point is that you make it a PRIORITY to put yourself somewhere in your 1,440 minutes each day. Find time to put yourself before anyone or anything else! I am betting that when we do, we will find a deeper sense of self, of purpose, and of connection with others. I'm also betting we will find we feel less stressed, are more productive during our working times, and are overall happier, better people.
I appreciate in advance that you are with me from the beginning of this journey. I'm not a professional blogger or podcaster. I'm not a professional website builder (in fact, I declined help from my techie husband because I want this to be completely organic and authentic from me alone. I'm not a professional marketer or social media guru. This project is raw and real and from my heart. As we travel this journey I'm excited to see the changes we all experience and how this platform grows with the process. (Or hopefully grows; I mean, who knows, right?!) If this message touched you, please mark the site so you can follow along for updates. I'll be updating this blog weekly, and hope to have a podcast up and running in the near future (as well as some cool fourteen40 project gear to help spread the word and cause).
Cheers to us, and to reclaiming some of our fourteen40 minutes each day!
Optimistically yours,
Melissa